Don’t Let Others Define Your Limits: Lessons From a Summer Swim Test
- Boryana Dimitrova
- Dec 18, 2025
- 4 min read
Hello, amazing entrepreneurs! I'm Boryana — marketing professor, mom of three, and passionate advocate for all things health and wellness. I'm also the founder of Black Sea Advanced Marketing Solutions, where we help small businesses connect deeply and authentically with their ideal customers.
Welcome back to another episode of Wellness Marketing 101.Today’s post is inspired by something surprisingly simple: watching little kids take a swim test at our community pool this past summer.
What unfolded over a few days taught me something powerful — something every entrepreneur needs to hear:
People will try to put limits on you that don’t belong to you.But you don’t have to accept them.
Let’s dive in!
The Swim Test That Started it All
At our community pool, kids must pass a swim test to enter the deep end:
25 meters freestyle
25 meters backstroke
1 minute treading water
It’s a lot for a 4- or 5-year-old but my two girls trained, practiced, and passed their test one Saturday morning.
On Monday, their friends decided they wanted to try too so they could all hang out together in the deep end.
And that’s when the real story began!
A Four-Year-Old Told “No”
One of their friends was eager to join them in the deep end. She cried, begged, and her grandmother finally guided her to the lifeguards: “What do we need to do?”
She took the test and passed!
Another friend tried as well. She failed the first time because her backstroke “wasn’t good enough.” As an adult watching, I knew she was capable. Her mom knew she was capable. I hopped in the pool with her and practiced. She swam beautifully.
She was ready.
But when we approached the lifeguard again, he told her:
“You can’t retake the test today.Come back tomorrow or the next day.”
There was no real reason. It was simply a rule he decided to apply.
But here’s the truth:
Sometimes people apply limits to you that have nothing to do with your abilities.
Authority Doesn’t Equal Accuracy
Eventually a different lifeguard agreed to let her try again. She completed:
A strong freestyle lap
A backstroke that was absolutely good enough
A full minute treading water
And yet, they failed her again.
Even more frustrating: A supervisor overseeing swim lessons told the lifeguard before the test was even over:
“Don’t pass her.”
Her mom heard it. I heard it. It was discouraging, unfair, and honestly… unnecessary.
By the end of that day, this sweet 4-year-old started saying things like:
“I’m not good at backstroke.”
“I don’t want to swim anymore.”
“I don’t like the lifeguards.”
One limiting message from an authority figure nearly stole her confidence.
But with her mom’s support, she tried again the following weekend and passed effortlessly.
The Lesson: Don’t Let Others Assign Your Limits
Watching all of this unfold reminded me of something we, as adults, especially entrepreneurss, often forget.
👉 People will project their own biases, fears, and limitations onto you.
👉 People in positions of authority aren’t always right.
👉 Someone else’s assessment of you doesn’t define your future.
And if you aren’t careful, you might internalize something that was never true.
A Personal Story: The Basketball Coach Who Benched Me
This experience reminded me of my own teenage years.
I played basketball in high school. I wasn’t tall, but I was determined. I trained early, stayed late, practiced my shots, ran conditioning — everything.
But during games, my coach consistently benched me for three quarters, no matter how well I performed.
One day, after I tearfully confronted him, he told me:
“You have a psychological barrier. You choke under pressure.”
And for a long time, I believed him.
The problem? He never gave me enough playing time to get over that supposed barrier.
When I finally quit for a year and returned with a fresh mindset, I played better than ever. Not because anything magical happened, but because I stopped letting his label define me.
Sometimes the obstacle isn’t your skill.It’s the story someone else gave you.
The Same Thing Happens in Entrepreneurship
When I started my business, I heard all kinds of “expert opinions”:
“Small businesses don’t have money for marketing.”
“People won’t pay for a marketing coach.”
“You need to struggle for years before you grow.”
Some of these statements are true, but it is up to us whether we will let others' beliefs stop us from pursuing our dreams.
I invested in a business coach before I made a single dollar and that investment is exactly why I have a rock-solid foundation today.
There are small businesses that invest.There are entrepreneurs who value coaching.There are people willing to pay for transformation.
The Real Message: Choose Your Mentors Wisely
Just like in sports, a coach can:
elevate you
discourage you
limit you
or transform you
The key is working with the right one. Someone who sees your potential, not your limits.
And the same goes for life.
As a former kid from communist Bulgaria, a place where you stayed in the same job your whole life, entrepreneurship was never modeled for me.
It wasn’t “possible.”
Until I met women who showed me otherwise.
Environment matters. Community matters. Belief matters.
Final Thoughts: Be Like the Kids
Kids are resilient.They are determined. They keep trying, even after failing. They don’t give up after one “no.”
Somewhere along the way, adults lose that spark.
So let this episode remind you:
✨ Your story is not defined by someone else’s judgment.
✨ You decide what’s possible for you.
✨ You get to write your own rules.
And never forget that you are capable of more than others may see.
Thank you for being here. If this resonated, share it with another entrepreneur and leave a quick review — it helps more small businesses find us.
Follow me on Instagram @blackseaams for more marketing and mindset tips.
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